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Collection 1

by Earthbook

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1.
Crutches 02:51
What do I think? That I may need some sort of direction. There's blood in the sink and puke in my nose, on my face, on the floor. The resurrection doesn't seem to sink in as far as it should, but I feel I believe, but don't understand. I need a drink and an ankle. Disgraceful thoughts are at hand; to think how disrespectful, ungrateful and unchanged I am. I need a desire to correct and heal, but evade, avoid and rot. I can't walk so I'm forced to sit here and battle myself. I claim I'd change if I could, but don't and can, and should. I should pick myself off the floor and act like a man. I need new Perspectives, more thought, a reminder. I need motivation, to be kinder, to find her. What do I think? I need refreshment, to test this to press for progress. I truly need to understand, but don't yet fully know my stance. I'm not a kid and don't feel like a man. I try to hold my spot, but loose my place in line. I try to hide when I'm right; try to justify what's wrong. I wish i could walk away and occupy my time with more than bad attitudes and self aimed anger, this pen and paper and thoughts of strangers, actors and writers and thieves of dreams and the people who live out my fantasies and scenes on TV that will never be and world monuments and the seven seas and friends of mine in other countries and the fact that I'm still here wondering what I think about my life and its current direction. What do I think? I should follow my heart and sleep on the floor.
2.
For this I'll forget you. For this is my last word, my last call to to the human race and this is something that I would never wish on anyone, but everything is on this sinking ship. Our lives' weight has grown into our ankles and we're diving in head first. We can't see past our disappointments. We somehow think it can't be worse. Go down with the ship. We're too sea sick to swim. To stay afloat in this icy water; to live much longer so pick and choose who you want to hold onto. We won't be here for long. Pick and choose who you want to hold onto. If you're healthy or if you're strong you know you won't live long. We are fading fast. We are returning to ashes or to dust.
3.
I set land mines in my own backyard; in my bed; under pillows beneath my head; and forget where they are. I burn down houses and torch surrounding areas. I pollute and shred trees without shedding tears. I shake down shelter, dirty water, black out sun betray your sons and daughters, hit and run disguised like me. I have nowhere to go, nowhere to live and no one to be. I put poison in most all I eat. I tie my laces together and have too many drinks. I wear bear traps as insoles in my shoes and walk under ladders. I like to break mirrors, open umbrellas, hunt black cats, drink dirty water, slime, soap scum; ignore your sons and daughters, hit and run. Its done by me. I have nowhere to go, nowhere to live and no one to be.
4.
We hold onto life as we know it, but it's contained confined to the walls of our bodies and blocked by our brains. We only know stories we're in. We can't read unless we take the time to study other scars; to feel pain that isn't ours. We can't see out of our cloudy white eyes; the colors are muddied. We live and we die. No one's too young to be carried in bed, to relax their lungs and lay down their sweet head. Selfish standards: "We have one life to live." Comparisons look from bottom to lid. It's a long way down, can't comprehend what's below. It's easier to look away than behold that some fight to live and some wish to die, medications are taken/forsaken in stride, some hollow their heads, some don't want to go, some live on hope that others will never know. :To live without a future.
5.
I can see myself looking towards the ground. I can see everything beneath me like I'm on a bridge looking down onto all these kids and pieces of families that are scattered and gathered holding name tags of granite over their heads. Sometimes it's too hard, but most times it's too easy to say, "I'll go another day," and pretend that I remember your names. It's been so long since I've sat by your graves and looked down to see you holding name tags of granite over your heads.
6.
Heaven sent predictions, body's spent, prescribed prescriptions. Shoulder sprain, arm in sling, five day forecast, forced eviction from the west back home, back to back body failure, back to back loosing my temper. I'm back on track. I am blacked out. I hope this black out faces the facts. Heart adds. Child subtracts. Get me on the road. Brain intact, stuck on slack, not footsteps forward, no progress onward just moving slower, collecting awkward. Fall in traps, forget the past, try to relax, learn from nothing, pressure heart attacks. We'll push in tacks. Dress legs in slacks to cover cracks. Don't look back. Dress the floor with dust to cover tracks. Get me on the road. Empty bottles, collect caps, take cat naps, be patient for placement or wait for problems and face them or track it and chase it find a path a take it. Peace will come in phases or find peace in new places or old faces. Peace will come in phases or find peace in new places. Get me on the road.
7.
Windex 01:23
I've found that my ways are hard to evade. They are until this day. I had to accept they are the enemy and I'm just letting them in. Stakes have been raised, bets have been placed and I'm on my way into my grave. Do I have no shame? Am I just not brave? Do I close my eyes in the face of adversity? I pray that my legs will finally carry me out of this place. I've changed my pace, stepped out of the race, evolved my tastes. For now I can finally look at myself without spitting in the mirror.
8.
Another rant of revelation, and not too soon. At most my mind gets clear once or twice a year. I need to hold this feeling. I need to help in healing, but I can't quite get it right; how to fit it in my life. I never know which parts to bend and what to end. Another couple beers, a shot, a cheers, a couple more. Karaoke chords ring with words unheard the faces blurred. It's easy to stay sleeping. I need to pursue meaning. I've found service gives light to the dark corners of my life. A love for strangers soothes shaken hearts. Someday I will find myself out of this age. Someday I will find my place in making change.
9.
Some things will always interrupt. Nothing is solid enough to take a punch or withstand the rush that time puts on us. i can't keep up. Clocks hands move too much. I grind my teeth to the gums. I don't know stable or steady. I'll never be ready to look down to my body and accept that I'm done trying, though I never seem to get past just the planning. I'm chewed gum under the table during lunch, a new rusty gun, a barrel full of throat launched laughs and delirium fun. I'm just dust; insignificant enough, roulette lust, stale pizza crust. Clocks, they hold too much power. The second hand is spinning a hundred miles an hour. Somethings never become clearer even after being focused on for years. The ground is full my mouth is wet, Kentucky poison dripping from my lips. Brain sloshing in my head. Take your time. Grasp the things you leave unsaid. When we were kids we had leather skin, titanium bones, organs made of stone.

about

This is a collection of my first acoustic work: various recording sessions, equipment and years.

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released October 1, 2012

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all rights reserved

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Earthbook Toledo, Ohio

Earthbook is the solo project of Mark Gorey (Take Weight :: High Draw)

This is my Earthbook: a sonic expression of journaling, traveling, describing, inspecting, & dissecting life on Earth through artistic/poetic songwriting and documentary-style concept albums and odes. ... more

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