1. |
SOS
02:30
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I’m lost and sending you SOS signals from the floor of the living room, where there’s not much living I feel like I can do. We have bad seams on the ceiling. I stare them and the cracks in my hands, trying to find and feel like I have a chance to save myself, but I know I can’t, or I don’t or I don’t care or I just don’t believe I can.
Is it in my head? Is it in my head? The feeling I haven’t had control, that I have no power and get pulled where the current flows? Is it in my head, that those thought-barbed-wire fences show their dominance and intimidate and distort the growth of hope?
Though I’m surrounded in love I still feel alone as I ever was. I still feel that I’m the only one who can understand my soul. I’m sure that I am unheard.
I’m an unrecognizable face. I’m an unpronounceable name.
I might have a boat I could rudder to shore. But I don’t. But I don’t.
I might have a life saving device I could tie, but I don’t or can’t or haven’t or won’t.
I might have a blanket I could cover wire and climb, but I don’t. But I don’t.
I might have a shovel I could tunnel out a hole. But I don’t or can’t or haven’t or won’t. But I don’t or can’t or haven’t or won’t.
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2. |
Intent
01:36
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If I spoke truth, I could dig and find my memories buried in leaves or shallow ground, stuck up in trees, or hiding under logs or under stones, but they’re cold and dirty, bathed in bacterial water, like those old, glass, clouded bottles found in the woods, and I don’t want them anymore.
Because I’m not gonna change the past, no matter if I choose to focus on what I did and not on what I do.
Some just get stuck under my shoes and then are simply forced to follow. I say that I don’t want any part, though I ignore and keep pushing through the lumps I feel in both my arches. With each step they’re pressing outward until I’m limping. It affects my outlook and perspective of the truth and I don’t want that because I’m not gonna save that space, no, I won’t make the room. I won’t waste another day draining my brain cells on the fumes; I’m saving them for something, for the things I plan to do. No, I won’t live another day as if I’m in my youth.
No, I won’t wait another day to pry them off my shoes.
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3. |
Circles
02:00
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Here I am again wishing I wouldn’t stand, but walk backwards and then give another chance. The things that I knew then haven’t changed, but I pretend I’d have the guts to stand up and invoke a different end.
In my thoughts and day dreams I’m confident and see where each of my choices lead and make decisions based off these sure, concrete, unmoving, understandings of who I’ll be and what chance or fate has in store for me.
Then I start to believe and shove tricks up my sleeves.
So here I am again wasting time in never land.
Here I am again, chasing a different end, but I know I’d have the same brain if I’d go back again.
So here I am again wasting time in never land.
Here I am again wasting time in never land.
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Earthbook Toledo, Ohio
Earthbook is the solo project of Mark Gorey (Take Weight :: High Draw)
This is my
Earthbook: a sonic expression of journaling, traveling, describing, inspecting, & dissecting life on Earth through artistic/poetic songwriting and documentary-style concept albums and odes.
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